This is a “ramble” by Himself, not by me – but I love it. It SO expresses his unconditional love for me, and his desire and hope that other men will unconditionally love their wives/mistresses/girlfriends/shackmates/fiancées, also. He’s not known for beating around the bush or being particularly “politically correct!” But, you may have noticed that…
* * * * * * * * * *
I’m gonna’ ramble a little here about being a guy whose wife/mistress/girlfriend/shackmate/fiancée has RA (RD). I can’t say what does or does not obtain in the case of being a gal with an RA guy.
Tombstones of women before 1900 in this country – particularly rural areas – would frequently have something in the nature of: “She was a good worker” amongst the other yada yada. Sometimes you could see where two or three women had been used up by some farmer, either though childbirth or from constant overwork. Hooraw – these days are over. Or are they? Some men seem to think their mate is just being lazy or some such and expect her to clean the house, cook the meals, do the yard work, and so on. Why – she just needs to get busy while I’m earning a living. If you are just going to abuse her to death, why not just retire her to a back room and get a concubine as they used to? Are you so desperate that you have to marry a maid or a yard man? There are plenty of people out there who will work cheap today. If you are too sorry, too busy, or too worn out to do all these things yourself, then hire them done or let them slide. Reasonably decent meals can be done in a microzap nowadays. If your taste buds are a bit more demanding (mine are) then cook stuff yourself.
Rheumatoid Disease is one of a sheaf of horrible, vile, debilitating autoimmune baddies that I think are all related. (lupus, fibromyalgia, etc.) I’m no doc, but several I’ve talked to are of a similar opinion. One of the things that you can pretty much bet on is that this nasty thing will take whatever is dearest away. Dancing – the feet get hit early. Just about any hand activity – crafts or such. If your girl likes singing, then it will probably hit the voicebox eventually. Bet you didn’t know it could do that. It can. It can hit every joint in the body. It can hit soft tissues. It can hit heart and lungs, liver and kidneys. There is nothing in the body that cannot be attacked by this horror. One of the other cute tricks that most of the autoimmunes like is chronic fatigue. Hard to do anything when you are worn out. All. The. time. Totally. Exhausted.
This little gem causes more pain than you can possibly imagine. These women live with pain that would have you whimpering in the corner. It takes more courage than you have just to get out of bed when your feet feel like they have knives in them.
Most people are married with the standard vows. So you got the drill about honor and love in sickness and health. If you are just shacking there are no vows, but there is a certain moral commitment implied. Are you going to man up and honor your commitments?
There are some women who complain all the time and drive people off. Mostly, though, when guys run out, it is because there is no commitment there. But – there is also another reason: Caring for someone that you love and watching them deteriorate and not being able to help them can crush you. Sometimes guys run because they cannot stand that frustration any longer. How about this for a novel idea: Why not TALK to each other? Sit down with a good cup of coffee or glass of wine or whatever and talk honestly to each other. If you are a decent human you will at least be honest. If there must be a split why not provide as much financial support as possible? You know that you are breaking your commitment, but don’t be a total louse. She will have a really hard time make ends meet when she has such a hard time working. She will have an almost impossible time paying for doctors and medication. If you think that the government will pay for chronic disease care, think again. Keep her on your insurance.
Even better – why not be enough man to honor the commitment and stay with her – as she would stay with you.
Oh yeah, sex. Well, if you are a good enough lover, considerate, gentle, and so forth – you will find that she is pretty receptive when she is not knotted up with pain or nausea. You will also find that slow and gentle love-making is about the best pain medication she could have. Before long you will find that you both can benefit tremendously. Bring her to five or six orgasms and it will be better than the best sleeping pill. Communicate and your whole life will be better.
* * * * * * * * * *
You may have a clue, now, why I love Himself so much!